I’ll make this into a short, quick passing post.
Admittedly, it’s hard to see people that one was close to, but not be able to speak to them on a daily basis. It also eats away when one’s pariah status is self-induced by questionable actions, and the pain is exacerbated by a lack of alternatives. They may not have been sexual partners or even romantic interests, but there was a certain degree of emotional intimacy that was present, and I miss that. Admittedly, that is one of the issues of dealing with female friends. With men, the friendships are superficial, but female friendships tend to be deeper in terms of emotions. We share everything about our lives, and one can end up learning details which is very appealing in terms of friendship, although some PUAs will disagree with me. Yet, once you’re pulled out of that world, one can become very disoriented. The isolation at first hurts and if one avoids bitterness, depression will eventually set in. Not only has one lost a good friend, one will never know if one will find another.
No more jokes, no more stories, no more attention. Just weird looks and awkwardness. Sadly, while spring is slowly beginning to blossom, a perpetually long winter is slowly setting in.